shit happens

if that's what u want

2008-02-07T15:38:00.000+08:00

you dont know how much it hurts to "try" to stop my feelings for you.

it's been almost 2 weeks... i've been missing you... how i wish i could see you right now!

i want to shout to the world how much i love you!!! but instead, im here, hiding...

i dont know what is it in you that made me this way, but im only certain of one thing - this feelings of mine had never been a joke...

i want to see you smile, i want to see you happy. at the expense of my own happiness, i'll do anything for your smile. even if it means staying away from you - if that's what you want.

blackish-white lie?

2008-02-02T02:07:00.000+08:00

finally, i feel a lil' more at ease now that i was able to cantact her again. for once, i thought that she was avoiding me or something.

i really missed her presence. but just when i was able to chat with her, i made up a story. A lie to be precise, i told her that i like someone else. I had no choice than to tell her this, because the least i wanted was to still be friends with her.

I hope it took the weird feeling she's having whenever we hang out. And i do also too that she would have even a little bit of time to spare with me.

I just hope i could tell her how much i feel...

the only girl

2008-01-31T18:41:00.000+08:00

sian... damn... it's been almost a week since i last seen u. and everyday seemed like eternity waiting to finally lay my eyes on you again.

i cant believe what had happened to me just because of you. depressed and down. lonely and sad. thinking about the times i had with you. though not much, i treasure it more than i treasure myself, i guess thats why im in such a great mess now.

without you is like living my life with no reason, a pointless way to struggle in life. inevitably, tears had ran down my face when i think of you in solitude.

its unbelievable coz for all the girls in my past, you are the one that had made me so serious about "love" (i may not know wat real love is but i can guarantee you that this is not a joke). the only girl who stole my smile away, the only girl who may SOON take my sanity from me too...

do u know the feeling?

2008-01-28T00:17:00.000+08:00

do you know the feeling of being stuck on something? And no matter how hard you try to escape from the pain, it just keeps on getting worse and worse?
                              ouch.......

do you know the feeling of doing the best you can, but in the end it still wasn't enough? And even if there's nothing left for you to give, it still doesnt seem close to be enough.
                             ouch.......

do you know the feeling of envying some people, just because they have what you've been dreaming of? Like sweet loving couples which seems to have the most happiest and romantic time of their life?
                            ouch........

do you know the feeling of loving someone, but that someone don't feel anything for you? And as long as the world is revolving, you'll never seem to be together with that "heaven-descended" girl of your dreams.
                            OUCH.........

i hope you know how i feel...

smile smile smile

2008-01-24T23:59:00.000+08:00

its been quite a week! from the sad lonesome me last week, to the joyful new me now! :D

nothing special really happened but i guess i was happy that i was able to voice myself out and still keep my dear dear friend in her.

for a second, i thought i was gonna lose her. but it turned out to be all fine. hope it stays this way :)

thank you my dear dear piggy!

horrible friday...

2008-01-18T23:50:00.000+08:00

i feel like a freak.

never had a second of this day that i spent NOT thinking of her. i suppose since the day she told me not to waste my time on her, i just gotten so upset and sad.

i might be just wasting my time posting these shits here, but i've got to somehow find an outlet for my feelings. aights?

my whole friday was usually boring, went to school at 3.30pm went off at 5pm (my lecturer was in a good mood) went straight to IMM to meet vincent. For some pathetic reason, i wanted to play at the basketball court near her house. But did it do any good for me? NO......

paranoia slowly corrupts my mind...

i sincerely love her... unfortunately i know the fact that she doesn't feel the same way towards me.

i dont daydream

2008-01-17T04:44:00.000+08:00

you stupid pig!!!
i miss you...

lolx >.<
i might be already losing it...

a boring day for me... was supposed to have lessons from 8am-3pm, but stayed at home and finished up this site -.-" (some kind of a student huh?!) haha

been sad and down all day loooong... i decided to go to toh guan park and play some bball at 1pm. and dang was it scorching hot or what!? unfortunately, didnt hav the mood to play (yup. still thinking about her) to what's supposed to be bball time became "sitting-while-daydreaming" time. hahaha. she's been on my mind all afternoon!

then came 6pm (yes... i did nth for 5hours but think of her. lol) vincent finished work, right off to yew tee park and played bball. visited back to ate Millete (bdae gurl) then back at home.

i cant beliv how much time can daydreaming consume! im pretty amazed myself. :)

Still alive and kickin'!

2008-01-16T12:42:00.000+08:00

:)
welcome back to me 2 bloggin'
its been quite a while.

reasons 4 blogging again?
aint sure... perhaps depression? -.-"

well... gud luk to me.
bwahahaha.